Motherhood Uncensored: BlogHer, School, Meds, and My Mom ...

This will be the first year in seven years that I won't be at BlogHer, but the first weekend of any month is killer for a family with a spouse in the Reserves (mandatory UTA weekend - don't ask me what that stands for other than "I can't get out of this, honey, unless I'm dead") and if you have kids in the South going to school since they start on August 6.?

Take that in for a moment, especially if you grew up in the Northeast like me and are all like "WTF are you kidding me?"?

And no, it's not because of the weather at the end of the school year because have you been to the south in August??

{Apparently it's based on old farming schedules where kids used to have to help and they decided that it didn't need to be changed since kids are still farming and all. Uh.}

But yes, this means my kids are going to school, a nice little Montessori school that's a bit of a drive (25 minutes each way on sort of slow back roads) and a bit expensive (anyone looking to hire a blogger?) and I still need to have a babysitter for Bridget so it's boxed macaroni and cheese around here for awhile.?

The public schools near us aren't for us, which is code for "they suck," but that sounds judgy ?of other parents in our neighborhood who I know (and like) who send their kids there so we all say "they're not for us."?

But if I can get past the long drives and the crazy schedules, I think I'll get a little more of my sanity back, which was something that was questionable trying to work and homeschool the kids while my husband was gone all the time.

And as much as I was hoping the Viibryd would perform miracles and make me a cheery domestic goddess, all they did was fuck my stomach up so hard that I had to stop taking them.?

I tried with food without food not eating food at all eating lots of food and I couldn't hack it, guys.

And after reading all the bad side effects of the meds (Yay Google!), I decided that I wanted to go see my midwife who wouldn't just give me free samples of some new drug because the hot pharm sales girl dropped them off that morning.?

I was feeling all proud of my non-meds coping skills with all the crap that was going on with my mom's surgery but then my husband chimed in about how much better I was on the meds.?

I just nodded and smiled but inside I kind of wanted to say "better how, like dealing with your crap?" but I didn't until just now and that felt pretty good.?

Are there meds that help you take ALL the recycling out and not just some of it even though it's right near the actual recycling bin because then I would like you to take some of those, dear.?

Yeah. I should probably get back on the meds.?

Thankfully, my mom's big house reveal went over famously, mostly due to the paint and not the actual MAJOR ASS cleaning we all did.?

Note to self: Show parent your awesome work before you have the house painted because that is all she will notice. That and the big television my brother brought her BUT LOOK AT YOUR CLOSET IT'S SO AWESOME MOM! ?

I'm just telling myself she was so shocked and overwhelmed that she couldn't sob thanks while clutching me in her arms like I imagined and instead obsessed about how that she could now watch Thornbirds on YouTube all on her big new television.?

Did I mention I cleaned out her entire house??

Every time she asked me where something important was, like her credit cards or her Spanx or her Brooks Brothers ballet flats and I knew where they were she would let out this "OH PHEW!" And I couldn't help but feel judged like I'm just some asshole who went through all her things and tossed them in the dumpster.?

Your 20-year old underpants? Yes mom. They are gone. Your vintage coach bags? Give me some freaking credit.?

Of course, after I arrived home, I got the obligatory "Where is that book that was on my nightstand?" which led to a whole freaking "I'm feeling like you threw me out in the dumpster" and "Maybe it's because you hate this house!" '

Ah family dysfunction. The reason why people move far away. And drink.?

So while everyone else will be whooping it up in NYC, I'll be avoiding all contact with my mother, staying up until the crack of dawn watching the Olympics, tweeting about the embarrasingly awful coverage by NBC, and trying to figure out how in the hell I have three children that will be in school in a week.?

Oh and counting down the days I head to Mexico for four days all by myself.

What's going on with you?

Source: http://www.motherhooduncensored.net/motherhood_uncensored/2012/07/blogher-school-meds-and-my-mom-because-im-all-out-of-exciting-titles.html

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